What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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