this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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