tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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