bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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