I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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