I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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