I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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