oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
