I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
