Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
