wanna go halves on a baby?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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