its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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