the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize