the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
