just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
