all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
