Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize