she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize