She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
