New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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