We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
