I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
