Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize