Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize