Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
