Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
