I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I deserve this hangover.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
