Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize