New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
