: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
