I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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