Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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