just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
