i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
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