I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize