I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Randomize
