Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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