Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
