I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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