the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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