I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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