so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
