sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
wow bdsm is so cute
Holy shit dude........stairs
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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