oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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