so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i would punch a child for taco bell
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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