DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
