You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize