Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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