take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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