Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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