I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
