toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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