there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
