I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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