so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
