i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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