I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
