the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I just want nice things and good sex
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
BRING THE BAGELS
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
