i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
